Surviving the Holidays

The holidays can be stressful for anyone, but this is especially true for kids who are dealing with mental health issues, ADHD, or are simply sensitive to changes in routine.  With some planning, we can help our kids (and ourselves) enjoy a less-stressful holiday season.

Thanks to Parents for Children's Mental Health for sharing this fantastic tipsheet for families. 

Enjoy!

Rhonda

Parents for Children's Mental Health

Surviving the Holidays

admin@pcmh.ca

 

Recognizing and accepting it is going to be stressful

It seems no matter how many years we have all experienced the holidays they still often seem to catch us off guard and creep up on us much more quickly than we had anticipated. When the holidays are upon us, we have to remember, it is going to add stress, we can’t fight that, and in fact trying to fight it may actually produce more of it. So prepare yourself for the fact that indeed we need to be proactive about ways to handle it, not only for ourselves, but our children.

·       Our children can sense are stress so Self-Care is VERY important during the holiday season.  Make sure you are calm and as a free from stress as possible so your emotions are not flowing over to your children.

·       There are many more lights, much more sounds, and often times more people when we go out.  There is a true “hustle and bustle”. Know this, and if your child is prone to reacting to this, don’t expect them to be able to handle it more because it’s the holidays…..if this is likely to trigger them, plan for it. Shorter shopping trips, perhaps not bringing them when you know they may not handle it, plan for frequent breaks in the shopping for drinks, or brief visits outside – this may take longer, but it may be a more enjoyable experience if you work this into your time. 

·       Ensure that wherever possible you avoid potential triggers for your child.

·       Recognize what your own triggers are that increase your stress and be proactive about building in your own coping strategies and tools so that you can remain calm when not only dealing with your children, but also when modelling for them.

·       Continue to be aware and continue to be proactive.

·       Do things over the holidays that are special to your child, even if it is not holiday related, create an anticipation about the holidays that is positive.

·       Even though routines are difficult throughout the holidays, ensure wherever possible that sleep, and eat routines stay the same. When routines are going to be different, prepare the child for that, discuss it with them, let them know what will be different, ask them if there is anything you can do that would help make it easier for them.

·       Acknowledge and validate for them that this is an exciting time and yet sometimes it is hard to manage for them. Let them know that is okay

 

*The tips included in this sheet are provided by families, and based on their personal experiences. These are tools and strategies that have worked for families and have been identified by families. They are not clinical or therapeutic suggestions. If there are concerns about your child’s mental health throughout the holiday season, or at any point, please seek immediate advice and counsel from professionals in the child and youth mental health professional.

Talking to your family about learning disabilities

Wow!  It's hard to believe we're less than a month away from Christmas.  Of course, the holidays mean more time with family and friends.  But how much do those closest to you know about learning disabilities, ADHD or other issues your child is dealing with?  Taking the time to talk about it really goes a long way to building an understanding of behaviours or other struggles that come along with it. 

Here's another great article from the National Center for Learning Disabilities website on talking with your family about your child's LD.  Hope you find it helpful.  Happy (almost) Holidays!

Rhonda


Talking with Family About Your Child's Learning Disability  

Coping with a child's learning disability (LD) is stressful for any parent, and the last thing you need is another demand on your time and energy. But avoiding talking about your child's LD can send a message to well-meaning family members that you're hiding something or feeling ashamed, embarrassed, or guilty.

How will family members take the news? Some will accept the problem and offer support right away. Telling the "secret" often produces great relief for everyone involved. And since learning disabilities are often inherited, it may even help other family members understand the reasons they may have had problems when they were in school. Others may disagree or deny there's a problem at all. And some may even blame you or your child.

How you approach family members depends both on their current understanding of learning disabilities, and on their willingness to accept that your child has LD. Regardless of the approach you take to informing family members, there are many reasons why educating your family about LD can help your child and you personally:

• To break down barriers that separate families because of misinformation or misunderstanding.
• To provide a common knowledge of how your child learns "his strengths, as well as challenges" and why he acts as he does.
• To exchange harmful labels (eg., dumb, lazy, inattentive) for terms that describe his talents and help to build self-esteem (eg., creative thinker, star athlete, skilled at math).
• To help set realistic expectations for your child.
• To reduce feelings of isolation for you and your child.
• To expand the home support system for you and your child.

Find Your Allies

Begin by talking to those in your family who understand and accept the situation. Together, you can decide how to work with resistant relatives. You and your child can depend on these "allies" to support you and reinforce the message with other family members.
Keep information simple, and avoid using educational jargon. Help family members identify some strategies to help your child succeed in his interactions with them.

Remember how overwhelming even basic information was when you first began learning about learning disabilities? Give everyone a chance to think about what you've shared. It won't be easy if the person is in denial, doesn't believe or accept what you're saying. Then you'll need lots of patience and an outside support system to get you through the process.

For most of the family, education isn't something that can be done effectively in one talk. As questions arise, take advantage of the opportunity to answer thoughtfully. Some people may want to learn more on their own, so be ready to provide resources for them, such as articles, educational programs, and support groups.

Talk with Siblings

Talking to the brother or sister of your child with LD may be the hardest job of all. Siblings often feel jealous of all the extra attention a child with LD needs, such as extra help on homework, tutoring, time spent at school, and may be quick to express anger or make comments that can hurt. Parents have to balance the demands of all their children, not just those with special needs.

When speaking to a sibling, consider the age of the child, use language that's easy to understand, and speak positively and factually. Reassure all your children that each one is special and loved and find ways to show them you mean what you say. The structure and positive discipline that help kids with LD function better can benefit all kids in the family. So have routines apply to everyone, and that way no one will feel singled out or left out!

Aiming for Acceptance

While it's important to educate family members about your child's LD as soon as you comfortably can, do it on your own timetable when it feels right for you.

Communicating with your family about LD is an ongoing process. It will take time for each family member to feel comfortable in a new role with your child. Don't be discouraged if some never fully understand his LD. As long as they give him their love, acceptance, and attention, he'll feel special. In time, each person can find positive ways to support and interact with him.