Sharing stories of empathy - Garry Oliver

A few weeks ago, we introduced you to Blair J. Ryan and The Empathy Factory.   Blair has kindly shared some of his writing with me, and we thought you'd find his stories of empathy in our community inspiring.  Here is Garry Oliver's story.

Rhonda & the Bridgeway team

THE EMPATHY REPORT

By Blair J. Ryan

Empathy is everywhere, in everything we do. Last night, when you watched George Costanza get caught eating an éclair from the trash during a Seinfeld re-run, you may have felt embarrassed for him. In fact, the feeling may have been so intense you were forced to look away. That feeling – of embarrassment for someone else – is called empathic distress, and very few are immune to it (hint: this is a good thing; we’re soft-wired to experience others’ emotions as our own).

This is The Empathy Report:

GARRY OLIVER

When a ten year old, terminally ill girls asks – as her dying wish – to see what Heaven looks like before she dies so that she can, ‘get an idea of where she’ll be spending the rest of her time,’ you’re naturally inspired to do whatever you can to help. Empathy takes over.

When faced with this situation, Garry Oliver – co-founder of Coalition for Kids International (CFKI) – rose to the challenge. Against all odds (and possibly a few laws), Garry chartered a helicopter, landed in young Sylwia’s backyard and flew her to ‘Heaven’. That is, he took her straight up… up… up… and above the brilliant white cumulus clouds; a thick layer of which made it impossible to see the ground below.

Exactly as she'd imagined Heaven, Sylwia was at peace, and able to pass on to her next life with the confidence that she was off to a better place.

These are the types of stories Garry takes great pleasure in telling with lively gestures and a comely British accent. With his wife Kamila, Garry sends groups of teenagers from Canada to Poland to grant wishes and bring to life the fantasies of terminally ill children. Wishes range from digital cameras and iPods, to trips to see celebrities and professional athletes.

Coalition for Kids International calls these missions to Poland ‘Journeys for a Lifetime,' and the youth, aged 14-23, who take part could not agree more.

Garry sometimes travels with the children on their journeys, but if he isn’t in the sky or in Poland, he is in Halifax raising awareness and funds for his cause. CFKI was founded in 2006 with the belief that its programs could teach empathy, positivity, and humility in youth. The goal is to give perspective to the youth they send away, but the impact has been felt at a community level back here in Canada. Garry tells me that when the kids return home, they’re changed; Coalition for Kids is creating young leaders and ambassadors of all things ‘good.’

With over 2,000 wishes granted already, Garry and Kamila hope to make the Journeys for a Lifetime program available to younger children and to youth from all across North America. After fulfilling so many fantasies, you might wonder if it ever gets old; if one becomes desensitized to the act.

No. Not ever.

The 2,000th was no more or less special than the first. Garry is in the business of watching youth grow and develop, so when he see’s someone like Allison have a transformational moment, he too is touched deep within the reaches of his heart. Allison went to Osiek to grant Lidia her wish. All Lidia asked for was an iPod. To most 16 year Canadian girls, the idea of an iPod is fairly uninspiring, but to this terminally-ill young girl, it appeared tantamount to a clean bill of health.  When she presented Lidia with her iPod, the look on her face – her genuine elation – changed Allison forever.

In that moment, Allison recognized that she had a very important piece of business to attend to. Upon her arrival at the Halifax international Airport, Allison embraced her mother, and with tears streaming down her face apologized. Why would an apology be the first words out of her mouth? She apologized for taking her mother for granted, and she asked forgiveness for an incident that took place the previous Christmas. Allison said,

“I’m so sorry mom, all I could think about these last few days was how I said, ‘I asked for a pink one’ when I opened my iPod at Christmas. I’m so sorry I took you for granted.”

How could anyone ever get tired of these stories? It’s absolutely clear that Garry and his wife are only getting started. The Journeys for a Lifetime give Nova Scotia’s youth the opportunity to make a complete 180 degree change in their lives and views; we can only hope that our children will be lucky enough to cross paths with Garry and his inspirational friends at Coalition for Kids International.

-B.

To learn more or get involved with the Coalition For Kids International, visit www.coalitionforkids.ca or contact Garry at garry@coalitionforkids.ca.

Author, Blair J. Ryan, is Chief Executive Officer of the Empathy Factory, and can be reached at blair@empathyfactory.com.